my veryOWN personal FEELing

31st aug, 09. 2252hour

Looking back past few days, I was just moody as I spent couples years in my current company…ops I should say my ex-company which I was given many opportunities to grow was going to close down. I was the last batch who left the company.

My Director has actually asked me to stay with the company until year end, but I found I couldn't continue to waste my times here so decided to move on. Though I enjoyed the free and easy life is past four months, and friends surrounding me damn envy me about my life here. But, one thing I can tell is whatsoever u saw is not necessary the truth.

By the time I walked out the company, it was really sad. I rather I don't know the truth but in fact my ex-GM did told me something that really cruel. U can't imagine how cruel the reality is? The management actually decided to close down the company 3 years ago. The most sarcastic thing is I was joined the company 3 years ago.

Well, at my age, I do felt hard to start all over again. Sometimes I was just wondering why my career isn’t just smooth? My ex-company has restructured my department for 3 times. For me, this is just hilarious.

Be frank, I can't sleep well in the past few days. Most of the time, I just woke up 3-4 am, back then I intended continue to sleep. Anyway, I just can’t sleep tough. Friend asked me why? I also don’t know what happened to me!!

I do feel like looking for someone to talk to, but I just can’t find even one from my phone book. From A to Z, no one seems like the most appropriate person for me to talk to. Am I just avoiding something? Or I can say I am not kind of person who really likes to share the ONE deep inside me? Am I just fake in front of all my friends? I’m scared to be the one who listen instead of who counsel?? Am I too ego in this? Well, one thing I can t tell myself “I am just pathetic!!”

By the way, whatever happened is happened and I just feel released after I have the chance to speak out. “Thank you!!” specially dedicated to 3 persons that walked through the dark moment with me. Especially the one who ears that ready for me all the times and comforted me when I was depressed.

“Bro, I’m now proudly to tell you that I really really felt released and I do have nice sleep these 2 days. It was just nice and tight and I just loved it ”

Tomorrow is going to be my brand new beginning. I’ve got myself prepared and ready for the challenge.